It is so easy to become a parent that it can happen by accident. So why is raising disciplined and happy children so difficult? Part of the answer comes from the often confusing and conflicting advice heaped upon new parents, especially those extreme views that are pushed particularly forcefully. One side urges protecting children’s self-esteem even during misbehavior, in the interests of raising happy children. The other side insists that any noncompliance must be dealt with swiftly and harshly, to assure children are taught obedience. While most parents find little comfort from either extreme, research shows that in practice, punishment is the automatic reaction of most parents to persistently unacceptable behavior — even though they recognize that punishment does not achieve lasting compliance.
Over several decades, Child Psychologist Jerry Adams developed and refined a class for parents to deal with such confusion, basing his approach on rigorously established principles of behavior change which he adapted to the everyday lives of the families he served. In response to requests from parents for a handy reference, Dr. Adams wrote How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children. In it he describes his comprehensive strategy for guiding children to meet parental expectations and to develop the age-appropriate self-discipline necessary for security and happiness. The book was written for busy parents, parents like you, raising children of all ages, types of behavior challenges, and circumstances.
From this book you will learn:
• To recognize that truly effective discipline is achieved through positive response by parents and that discipline is not synonymous with punishment;
• To recognize ways your discipline may actually work against your own intentions, and how to reverse the process in order to meet your goals for your family;
• How to tailor and maintain a structured program to address your specific goals and concerns;
• How to extend your influence to times when your children are away from you;
• How to eliminate inappropriate behavior in a way that does not undermine your other efforts; and
• How to adapt the approach to your specific needs, through detailed illustrations from other families who have struggled with a wide-variety of challenges.
Dr. Adams, licensed to practice psychology in California, served as lead psychologist for twenty-five years in a large non-profit health maintenance organization where he specialized in assisting children and their parents. He is married and has two sons and two grandchildren.
Amazon.com Kindle reader review:
It’s so easy to just punish. All I did was what my dad did to me. And got rid of a lot of anger. Unfortunately it just reinforced doing what I wanted my son to stop.
The principles in this book really gave me the secrets of changing myself to do the exact opposite of punish: catch him doing what I wanted him to do and reward it. I was amazed how changing myself produced the good behavior that I wanted in the first place.
If you do nothing else, try this book now. Then in a few weeks see if it isn’t one of the best tools for you to use, not just with your kids but with others, and see if it doesn’t also help your children too. It’s a true win-win!
If you were not raised doing positive reinforcement its not your fault. But only you can break the negative cycle. Don’t you owe it to your kids and yourself to invest your time in a way that will pay back the rest of your lives?
Thanks to the author. This made a difference.
Jim Dudl MD
It is so easy to become a parent that it can happen by accident. So why is raising disciplined and happy children so difficult? Part of the answer comes from the often confusing and conflicting advice heaped upon new parents, especially those extreme views that are pushed particularly forcefully. One side urges protecting children’s self-esteem even during misbehavior, in the interests of raising happy children. The other side insists that any noncompliance must be dealt with swiftly and harshly, to assure children are taught obedience. While most parents find little comfort from either extreme, research shows that in practice, punishment is the automatic reaction of most parents to persistently unacceptable behavior — even though they recognize that punishment does not achieve lasting compliance.
Over several decades, Child Psychologist Jerry Adams developed and refined a class for parents to deal with such confusion, basing his approach on rigorously established principles of behavior change which he adapted to the everyday lives of the families he served. In response to requests from parents for a handy reference, Dr. Adams wrote How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children. In it he describes his comprehensive strategy for guiding children to meet parental expectations and to develop the age-appropriate self-discipline necessary for security and happiness. The book was written for busy parents, parents like you, raising children of all ages, types of behavior challenges, and circumstances.
From this book you will learn:
• To recognize that truly effective discipline is achieved through positive response by parents and that discipline is not synonymous with punishment;
• To recognize ways your discipline may actually work against your own intentions, and how to reverse the process in order to meet your goals for your family;
• How to tailor and maintain a structured program to address your specific goals and concerns;
• How to extend your influence to times when your children are away from you;
• How to eliminate inappropriate behavior in a way that does not undermine your other efforts; and
• How to adapt the approach to your specific needs, through detailed illustrations from other families who have struggled with a wide-variety of challenges.
Dr. Adams, licensed to practice psychology in California, served as lead psychologist for twenty-five years in a large non-profit health maintenance organization where he specialized in assisting children and their parents. He is married and has two sons and two grandchildren.
Amazon.com Kindle reader review:
It’s so easy to just punish. All I did was what my dad did to me. And got rid of a lot of anger. Unfortunately it just reinforced doing what I wanted my son to stop.
The principles in this book really gave me the secrets of changing myself to do the exact opposite of punish: catch him doing what I wanted him to do and reward it. I was amazed how changing myself produced the good behavior that I wanted in the first place.
If you do nothing else, try this book now. Then in a few weeks see if it isn’t one of the best tools for you to use, not just with your kids but with others, and see if it doesn’t also help your children too. It’s a true win-win!
If you were not raised doing positive reinforcement its not your fault. But only you can break the negative cycle. Don’t you owe it to your kids and yourself to invest your time in a way that will pay back the rest of your lives?
Thanks to the author. This made a difference.
Jim Dudl MD